if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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