A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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