I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
