Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
