I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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