I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
