i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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