come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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