I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
