So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize