I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
