We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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