I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
