I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
