he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
