There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
