Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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