He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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