I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
