I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
These tits shall not be calmed
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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