Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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