So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
