I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
