Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
