Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize