my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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