Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
