I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
