So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
