yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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