Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm too high and old for this...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
