Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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