Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
