Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
please come you make the beer taste better
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
