i love accidental penises.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
