Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
