Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
