You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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