Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
