I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
