At least make sure they are 18
Why
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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