i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
