yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
