So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
