we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
