he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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