I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
