He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
