we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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