So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
