I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
