you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize