i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
