My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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