she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this will be a night to untag.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
