you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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