She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
