McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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