How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
