I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
