All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I would ride that face into the sunset
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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