The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
